Tuesday, January 06, 2009
If it's from Apple...
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
I can almost believe it. My favorite line: You can do anything in just a few hundred clicks...
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Happy New Year!
An all that jazz. I'm excited about the year to come. I have the feeling it will be the best year I've had in a while.
I skipped the whole party thing last night. Last week I went out with an old friend (he did my first 3 tattoos), and got waaaay too drunk. So last night I stayed home & played my new game, Call of Duty 4. Around 11:45 or so G woke up complaining about the fireworks, so we watched the ball drop on TV, then she played her Nintendo DS while I played COD4. It was a pretty good night.
Now it's time to put the Christmas stuff in the attic & pull down the outside decorations. Fun!
I skipped the whole party thing last night. Last week I went out with an old friend (he did my first 3 tattoos), and got waaaay too drunk. So last night I stayed home & played my new game, Call of Duty 4. Around 11:45 or so G woke up complaining about the fireworks, so we watched the ball drop on TV, then she played her Nintendo DS while I played COD4. It was a pretty good night.
Now it's time to put the Christmas stuff in the attic & pull down the outside decorations. Fun!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Merry Christmas! aka This Never Happens To Me
After work today, I went to get some dog food. I don't go down this street much, so I didn't realize the yellow light I went through was a 3 sec. light instead of a 6 sec. light. Needless to say, it turned red right as I entered the intersection. Luckily none of the cross traffic was moving yet. Unluckily there was a cop waiting for the light.
He got behind me & flashed his lights, so I went ahead & signaled & pulled into the pet shop. The cop pulls in behind me & I cut the engine & get my wallet out (carefully keeping both hands in view as he comes to the window). He makes a comment about running the light as I fumble with my wallet & hand him my ATM card. I realized my mistake & chuckle "Oops, wrong one." We swap the ATM card for my license & I promptly dropped my wallet out the window. Durrr. Even when I'm riding clean I'm nervous around cops :(
Red, huh? Just like the light you went through.
I know. That was the shortest yellow light I've ever seen.
How old are you?
36.. I think. I was born in '72.
So 35?
No, I already had my birthday, in Jan.
Hm. *My* birthday is in Jan.
Really? I'm the 25th.
(Long pause. Duh, duh, DUH!)Hm. My birthday is Jan. 25th. '57.
(I make some inane comment about getting senior citizen discounts, and rub my beard. He replied that he probably would too if he grew a beard).
He made some comment about how interesting it was that we had the same birthday, and about how he'd have to be sure to put that on my ticket. The one for running the light.
Yes sir, I know.
Just as he was turning to leave, I pointed at his uniform patch.
Are you with the k9 unit?
Um, yeah...
You don't have a black GSD, do you? We live by the Graham exit, and my wife sees a k9 letting his black GSD out for a "walk" at the exit ramp all the time. We have a black GSD too, and she always thinks it's our dog, somehow out of the house.
No, I don't have a black GSD. Were you coming here, anyway? (pointing back at the pet shop)
Yeah, hehe, getting some dogfood, he goes through a lot.
(handing me my license) Merry Christmas.
Thank you!!!
He got behind me & flashed his lights, so I went ahead & signaled & pulled into the pet shop. The cop pulls in behind me & I cut the engine & get my wallet out (carefully keeping both hands in view as he comes to the window). He makes a comment about running the light as I fumble with my wallet & hand him my ATM card. I realized my mistake & chuckle "Oops, wrong one." We swap the ATM card for my license & I promptly dropped my wallet out the window. Durrr. Even when I'm riding clean I'm nervous around cops :(
Red, huh? Just like the light you went through.
I know. That was the shortest yellow light I've ever seen.
How old are you?
36.. I think. I was born in '72.
So 35?
No, I already had my birthday, in Jan.
Hm. *My* birthday is in Jan.
Really? I'm the 25th.
(Long pause. Duh, duh, DUH!)Hm. My birthday is Jan. 25th. '57.
(I make some inane comment about getting senior citizen discounts, and rub my beard. He replied that he probably would too if he grew a beard).
He made some comment about how interesting it was that we had the same birthday, and about how he'd have to be sure to put that on my ticket. The one for running the light.
Yes sir, I know.
Just as he was turning to leave, I pointed at his uniform patch.
Are you with the k9 unit?
Um, yeah...
You don't have a black GSD, do you? We live by the Graham exit, and my wife sees a k9 letting his black GSD out for a "walk" at the exit ramp all the time. We have a black GSD too, and she always thinks it's our dog, somehow out of the house.
No, I don't have a black GSD. Were you coming here, anyway? (pointing back at the pet shop)
Yeah, hehe, getting some dogfood, he goes through a lot.
(handing me my license) Merry Christmas.
Thank you!!!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Ugh
I've been slacking again. At least this time I have a half-assed excuse. I'm sick as a dog, got this cold shit kicking my ass. Fun stuff. We've got most of our Christmas shopping done. I say "we" when I really mean "Kate". She's been taking care of most of it. Hell, she's been taking care of me, too. Yesterday she made some chili. Now, I'm not a big chili fan, but if I'm going to eat it, I want it like she made it. I couldn't even think of any improvements she could make to it (I usually try to give her tips when she cooks, stuff like "mushrooms would be good in this", etc.). Well, I was sitting at my desk, and she was warming up some chili for me. Earlier I had thought that it'd be good to have a grilled cheese to go with the chili, but I didn't want her to go out of her way to make one, so I didn't say anything. When she set the bowl down, it was accompanied by a grilled cheese! WTF, man! I didn't complain, mind you, but she did get an extra hug :)
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
I guess you aren't safe anywhere
Investigators look for similarities in two weekend robberies
You expect this kinda thing to happen in Memphis. Even out at Hacks Cross, the urban blight is moving in. Lakeland, though? I thought Lakeland was supposed to be safe. Hell, I've eaten at that Cracker Barrel. Never again! Granted, this has more to do with the quality of the food & service, but still, I wouldn't expect an armed robbery there.
I can't believe the cops think this may be the same people. The McD's incident involved shooting the manager, for no real reason. If that was their MO, the CB manager would have been shot, too. Just because the perpetrators were wearing masks in both cases, and they were near the interstate... DUH! Most places in the Memphis area are near an interstate! There's a huge freakin' LOOP of interstate around the city!!!
You expect this kinda thing to happen in Memphis. Even out at Hacks Cross, the urban blight is moving in. Lakeland, though? I thought Lakeland was supposed to be safe. Hell, I've eaten at that Cracker Barrel. Never again! Granted, this has more to do with the quality of the food & service, but still, I wouldn't expect an armed robbery there.
I can't believe the cops think this may be the same people. The McD's incident involved shooting the manager, for no real reason. If that was their MO, the CB manager would have been shot, too. Just because the perpetrators were wearing masks in both cases, and they were near the interstate... DUH! Most places in the Memphis area are near an interstate! There's a huge freakin' LOOP of interstate around the city!!!
Friday, December 05, 2008
My sister had one
I never did, though. I still think about getting one, all these years later :)
From Tilted Twister
Performance
Scanning the cube: 1 minute
Calculating a solution: 20 - 40 seconds
Executing the moves: 1 - 5 minutes. Average 4.5 minutes (60 faceturns)
Average total time: 6 minutes
From Tilted Twister
Performance
Scanning the cube: 1 minute
Calculating a solution: 20 - 40 seconds
Executing the moves: 1 - 5 minutes. Average 4.5 minutes (60 faceturns)
Average total time: 6 minutes
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Woof!
A cute video on stay out of the dog house this Christmas. All I know is, if I got my wife a bad-ass vacuum like that, I'd be rocking! Don't bother to knock, cuz we ain't coming to the door!
Love ya honey!
Love ya honey!
Ugh, I hate getting sick
I think I am, though. I stopped at Walgreens & got some medicine. A bit more heavy duty than I usually get for my sinus issues, and it makes me all "duuuuhhhhh". A small price to pay if I can nip it in the bud. Nip, nip, nip it!
I also purchased my first Christmas present. It was inexpensive, but it's something that Kate has mentioned a few times. I think she'll both be surprised and happy to get it.
I also purchased my first Christmas present. It was inexpensive, but it's something that Kate has mentioned a few times. I think she'll both be surprised and happy to get it.
Monday, December 01, 2008
I am absolutely livid
Little miss has decided, even though she's ALREADY grounded, to slack off at school. She also took it upon herself to withhold her progress report. Of course, she's still failing two of her classes. One of which is CLUE English. The reason? She neglected to do a project that is a major portion of her grade. She just... didn't do it. She's grounded, so it's not like she didn't have time to do it. She's not stupid, so it's not like she wasn't capable of doing it. She just... didn't do it. So she's failing that class... again. Not only does this mean she's probably going to be kicked out of CLUE, I'm not so worried about CLUE. No, this jeopardizes her eligibility for the entire Optional School program. I called & checked our district. Treadwell for 7th & 8th grade, Kingsbury for 9th, and Treadwell for 10th, 11th & 12th.
I just can't help but think that if she really wanted to be a Target cashier when she grows up so bad, she could have managed it a bit better than to be thrown to the wolves (AKA general population in public school). If she thinks her classes are boring now, wait until she sees how dumbed down the GP classes are. 1+1=2...
ARRRGGGGHHH!!!!
I just can't help but think that if she really wanted to be a Target cashier when she grows up so bad, she could have managed it a bit better than to be thrown to the wolves (AKA general population in public school). If she thinks her classes are boring now, wait until she sees how dumbed down the GP classes are. 1+1=2...
ARRRGGGGHHH!!!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
An interesting observation
30x32 is NOT the same as 32x30.
Recently I was at the store with Kate, looking for something for her. Since browsing women's business clothing doesn't really do much for me, I wasted time in the men's department. First, I found some nice new shoes, Timberlands, for $25. Then... some new "jean" style corduroys. Two pair, some green 30x32, and grey 31x32. I've been thinking about moving up one size in pants, anyway, to facilitate carrying the .357 IWB. So I got them both. "Don't you want to try them on?" Kate wisely asked. "Nah, I know what size I wear..."
Flash forward to this morning. I go to put them on and realize I *don't* know what size I wear. They fit well enough, the waist is ok (but no room for a IWB holster), the butt is snug, but... I remember why I moved up in size. The crotch is a bit more snug than is comfortable, and I feel like I've got my package all pushed out in everyone's face :(
so what I'm wanting next time is to remember, 33!x32 :)
Recently I was at the store with Kate, looking for something for her. Since browsing women's business clothing doesn't really do much for me, I wasted time in the men's department. First, I found some nice new shoes, Timberlands, for $25. Then... some new "jean" style corduroys. Two pair, some green 30x32, and grey 31x32. I've been thinking about moving up one size in pants, anyway, to facilitate carrying the .357 IWB. So I got them both. "Don't you want to try them on?" Kate wisely asked. "Nah, I know what size I wear..."
Flash forward to this morning. I go to put them on and realize I *don't* know what size I wear. They fit well enough, the waist is ok (but no room for a IWB holster), the butt is snug, but... I remember why I moved up in size. The crotch is a bit more snug than is comfortable, and I feel like I've got my package all pushed out in everyone's face :(
so what I'm wanting next time is to remember, 33!x32 :)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Are ladybugs lucky?
I've always heard that ladybugs are lucky. I believe it all goes back to their dietary habits, they like to eat "pest" insects, and are generally beneficial to crops.
I don't know about all that. I was just outside smoking, and was practically attacked by a small swarm of 15-20 ladybugs. It still feels like they are crawling around in my shirt.
Of course, if I were to come home & find my wife dressed like this, I'd be very lucky indeed :)
I don't know about all that. I was just outside smoking, and was practically attacked by a small swarm of 15-20 ladybugs. It still feels like they are crawling around in my shirt.
Of course, if I were to come home & find my wife dressed like this, I'd be very lucky indeed :)
Friday, November 21, 2008
Joe Normal...
Joe Normal
35 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 22% Dork
For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal.
This is not to say that you don't have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you--we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren't much of an outcast.
I'd say there's a fair chance someone asked you to take this test. In any event, fairly normal.
Congratulations!
35 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 22% Dork
For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal.
This is not to say that you don't have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you--we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren't much of an outcast.
I'd say there's a fair chance someone asked you to take this test. In any event, fairly normal.
Congratulations!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sudden realization
I was driving to work this morning when I suddenly realized... I no longer feel as though my life is spiraling out of control, headed straight to hell. For so long I felt like everything was going to shit.
Now... everything feels right.
Now... everything feels right.
Friday, November 14, 2008
100 Skills
100 Skills Every Man Should Know: 2008's Ultimate DIY List
Automotive
1. Handle a blowout
yep
2. Drive in snow
yep
3. Check trouble codes
kinda
4. Replace fan belt
yep
5. Wax a car
know how, but don't :P
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
depends on the obstacle
7. Use a stick welder
want to learn
8. Hitch up a trailer
yep
9. Jump-start a car
all too well
Emergencies
10. Perform the Heimlich
yep
11. Reverse hypothermia
hmm
12. Perform hands-only CPR
kinda
13. Escape a sinking car
yep
Home
14. Carve a turkey
kinda
15. Use a sewing machine
mostly
16. Put out a fire
yep
17. Home-brew beer
no desire
18. Remove bloodstains from fabric
hmmm, peroxide?
19. Move heavy stuff
yep
20. Grow food
in a pinch
21. Read an electric meter
kinda
22. Shovel the right way
sorta
23. Solder wire
yep
24. Tape drywall
yep
25. Split firewood
yep
26. Replace a faucet washer
yep
27. Mix concrete
kinda
28. Paint a straight line
probably not :P
29. Use a French knife
WTF is a French knife???
30. Prune bushes and small trees
I'm a hacker :P
31. Iron a shirt
not well
32. Fix a toilet tank flapper
yep
33. Change a single-pole switch
yep
34. Fell a tree
yep
35. Replace a broken windowpane
yep
36. Set up a ladder, safely
yep
37. Fix a faucet cartridge
yep
38. Sweat copper tubing
kinda
39. Change a diaper
oh, yeah
40. Grill with charcoal
kinda
41. Sew a button on a shirt
yep
42. Fold a flag
yep
Medical
43. Treat frostbite
nope
44. Treat a burn
butter! (JOKE!!!)
45. Help a seizure victim
yep
46. Treat a snakebite
yep
47. Remove a tick
yep
Military Know-How
48. Shine shoes
yep
49. Make a drum-tight bed
nope
50. Drop and give the perfect pushup
hmmmm
Outdoors
51. Run rapids in a canoe
kinda
52. Hang food in the wild
yep
53. Skipper a boat
mostly
54. Shoot straight
yep
55. Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
nope
56. Escape a rip current
yep
Survival
57. Build a fire in the wilderness
yep
58. Build a shelter
yep
59. Find potable water
yep
Surviving Extremes
60. Floods
hmmm
61. Tornados
yep
62. Cold
yep
63. Heat
yep
64. Lightning
????
Teach Your Kids
65. Cast a line
yep
66. Lend a hand
tried :P
67. Change a tire
not yet
68. Throw a spiral
not likely
69. Fly a stunt kite
they all look like stunt kites when she flies them
70. Drive a stick shift
not yet
71. Parallel park
not yet
72. Tie a bowline
nope
73. Tie a necktie
nope
74. Whittle
nope
75. Ride a bike
yep
Technology
76. Install a graphics card
yep
77. Take the perfect portrait
technology?
78. Calibrate HDTV settings
nope
79. Shoot a home movie
sure
80. Ditch your hard drive
yep
Master These Key Workshop Tools
81. Drill driver
yep
82. Grease gun
yep
83. Coolant hydrometer
yep
84. Socket wrench
yep
85. Test light
yep
86. Brick trowel
not yet
87. Framing hammer
I wouldn't say "master" lol
88. Wood chisel
nope
89. Spade bit
kinda
90. Circular saw
yep
91. Sledge hammer
yep
92. Hacksaw
yep
93. Torque wrench
yep
94. Air wrench
not yet
95. Infrared thermometer
nope
96. Sand blaster
nope
97. Crosscut saw
ugh
98. Hand plane
double ugh
99. Multimeter
yep
100. Feeler gauges
yep
Well, at least I've got more than half done :P
Automotive
1. Handle a blowout
yep
2. Drive in snow
yep
3. Check trouble codes
kinda
4. Replace fan belt
yep
5. Wax a car
know how, but don't :P
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
depends on the obstacle
7. Use a stick welder
want to learn
8. Hitch up a trailer
yep
9. Jump-start a car
all too well
Emergencies
10. Perform the Heimlich
yep
11. Reverse hypothermia
hmm
12. Perform hands-only CPR
kinda
13. Escape a sinking car
yep
Home
14. Carve a turkey
kinda
15. Use a sewing machine
mostly
16. Put out a fire
yep
17. Home-brew beer
no desire
18. Remove bloodstains from fabric
hmmm, peroxide?
19. Move heavy stuff
yep
20. Grow food
in a pinch
21. Read an electric meter
kinda
22. Shovel the right way
sorta
23. Solder wire
yep
24. Tape drywall
yep
25. Split firewood
yep
26. Replace a faucet washer
yep
27. Mix concrete
kinda
28. Paint a straight line
probably not :P
29. Use a French knife
WTF is a French knife???
30. Prune bushes and small trees
I'm a hacker :P
31. Iron a shirt
not well
32. Fix a toilet tank flapper
yep
33. Change a single-pole switch
yep
34. Fell a tree
yep
35. Replace a broken windowpane
yep
36. Set up a ladder, safely
yep
37. Fix a faucet cartridge
yep
38. Sweat copper tubing
kinda
39. Change a diaper
oh, yeah
40. Grill with charcoal
kinda
41. Sew a button on a shirt
yep
42. Fold a flag
yep
Medical
43. Treat frostbite
nope
44. Treat a burn
butter! (JOKE!!!)
45. Help a seizure victim
yep
46. Treat a snakebite
yep
47. Remove a tick
yep
Military Know-How
48. Shine shoes
yep
49. Make a drum-tight bed
nope
50. Drop and give the perfect pushup
hmmmm
Outdoors
51. Run rapids in a canoe
kinda
52. Hang food in the wild
yep
53. Skipper a boat
mostly
54. Shoot straight
yep
55. Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
nope
56. Escape a rip current
yep
Survival
57. Build a fire in the wilderness
yep
58. Build a shelter
yep
59. Find potable water
yep
Surviving Extremes
60. Floods
hmmm
61. Tornados
yep
62. Cold
yep
63. Heat
yep
64. Lightning
????
Teach Your Kids
65. Cast a line
yep
66. Lend a hand
tried :P
67. Change a tire
not yet
68. Throw a spiral
not likely
69. Fly a stunt kite
they all look like stunt kites when she flies them
70. Drive a stick shift
not yet
71. Parallel park
not yet
72. Tie a bowline
nope
73. Tie a necktie
nope
74. Whittle
nope
75. Ride a bike
yep
Technology
76. Install a graphics card
yep
77. Take the perfect portrait
technology?
78. Calibrate HDTV settings
nope
79. Shoot a home movie
sure
80. Ditch your hard drive
yep
Master These Key Workshop Tools
81. Drill driver
yep
82. Grease gun
yep
83. Coolant hydrometer
yep
84. Socket wrench
yep
85. Test light
yep
86. Brick trowel
not yet
87. Framing hammer
I wouldn't say "master" lol
88. Wood chisel
nope
89. Spade bit
kinda
90. Circular saw
yep
91. Sledge hammer
yep
92. Hacksaw
yep
93. Torque wrench
yep
94. Air wrench
not yet
95. Infrared thermometer
nope
96. Sand blaster
nope
97. Crosscut saw
ugh
98. Hand plane
double ugh
99. Multimeter
yep
100. Feeler gauges
yep
Well, at least I've got more than half done :P
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Ramona saw this & now...
She wants to spend more time at the range. Looking for a decent .22 revolver for her :)
McKenzie -11yo Girl Sets New Record for Field Stripping AR15
McKenzie -11yo Fighting Pistol Personal Defense Class
McKenzie - 11yo Girl at Shooting Range #1 of #3
McKenzie - 11yo Girl at Shooting Range #2 of #3
McKenzie - 11yo Girl at Shooting Range #3 of #3
McKenzie -11yo Girl Sets New Record for Field Stripping AR15
McKenzie -11yo Fighting Pistol Personal Defense Class
McKenzie - 11yo Girl at Shooting Range #1 of #3
McKenzie - 11yo Girl at Shooting Range #2 of #3
McKenzie - 11yo Girl at Shooting Range #3 of #3
I have it on good authority...
Otto told me that any dog that has to be trained to be a "tobacco detection canine" is seriously retarded and deserves to be forced to spend time with speckled pup, at least for a week...
Monday, November 10, 2008
Deliberate passive aggressiveness
Yes, *I* was the one who left the toilet paper roll with 2 sheets left!!!
In other news, I attended a long overdue dentist appointment. Now I get to choose between an implant and a bridge. This is in addition to the fillings that need to be replaced, and an additional crown. They still have to work in my appointments. It will take months to complete it all. Oh, joy.
In other news, I attended a long overdue dentist appointment. Now I get to choose between an implant and a bridge. This is in addition to the fillings that need to be replaced, and an additional crown. They still have to work in my appointments. It will take months to complete it all. Oh, joy.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Ok already
I know I haven't been posting much lately. I've gone through a bit where I didn't want to post anything, mainly due to the fact that most of the people I can talk about, also read here. I've decided that I'll go ahead & post, obscuring names where necessary. If someone has a problem with it, they can let me know.
Another aspect is how good things are going for me lately. One of these days I'll put the old cautioninc.com back up (I've got it backed up to day 1). Then anyone who is curious can see where it started (online, anyway). Basically, I started right after my first wife left me. Consequently, you get to see the angst & depression. When things are going well, like now, it seems silly to post about it:
Yummy!
Not only did Kate make some kick ass chicken & dumplings, but pumpkin bread to go with it! When her parents warned me that she couldn't cook, they just didn't know. I think she was just not cooking over there. If they'd known she was a kick ass cook, they'd want her to cook all the time :)
Soo, anyway. I'll be posting more. Now I have to prioritize all the things I need to do around the house.
1. Check the starter on the ratwing.
2. Finish putting new tank on cb125.
3. Pack tent away & put it & Halloween decorations in the attic.
4. Test the paint remover on the porch.
5. Finish drawing up plans for the full wall bookshelves.
6. Cut grass.
7. Clean garage.
8. Clean guns.
9. Wash dogs.
Not in any particular order...
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
I don't know wtf is going on
The heels of my feet have felt bruised lately. Now, today, the heels of my palms are feeling the same way. I'm starting to think I'm falling apart...
Monday, November 03, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Can a person die from sinusitis
Can you?
If so, when I die, get me a Creative Coffin to run me through the crematory. Go for the custom model, with a picture of me on it. Only photochop it so the fucker looks handsome :) If that proves too difficult, how about a pic of a hot chick with big tits on it? Hmmm...
If so, when I die, get me a Creative Coffin to run me through the crematory. Go for the custom model, with a picture of me on it. Only photochop it so the fucker looks handsome :) If that proves too difficult, how about a pic of a hot chick with big tits on it? Hmmm...
Friday, October 17, 2008
LOL!
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews And testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun.
'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair .. . . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man For this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was Quiet for a bout 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn.
She was given the Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the Gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one After another. They heard screaming, crashing, Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to Beat him to death with the chair.'
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun.
'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair .. . . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man For this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was Quiet for a bout 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn.
She was given the Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the Gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one After another. They heard screaming, crashing, Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to Beat him to death with the chair.'
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I am soooo ticked off
Ok, I get it. I grew up in the south, and spent more than my share of time in the woods. I know all about ticks, and what to do and NOT to do. That said, this summer I've removed no fewer than 4 ticks from my person. Two from my lower leg (sock area), one from my butt (?!?!), and the most recent from my thigh. The bitch of it is, I know when I got this last one. On our most recent trip, we pulled over for some reason or another, and I walked over away from the road to take a piss. As I'm walking through the mid-calf high grass, I thought to myself "Self, this looks like a good place to pick up a tick." Sure enough, when I got home I found one.
Anyway, after I pissed, I went back to the bike & talked Kate into taking some topless pics:
I know, NOT the topless pic you wanted :P
Anyway, after I pissed, I went back to the bike & talked Kate into taking some topless pics:
I know, NOT the topless pic you wanted :P
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Stay thin, obey your man
Link:
A SELF-help guide that tells women to stay thin and follow their man's orders if they want to keep him has become a bestseller.
The book, The Re-education Of The Female, also says women should wear sexy clothes while doing the cooking and cleaning.
Copies of first-time author Dante Moore's book have been flying off the shelves in the US, Britain's Daily Mail reports.
One piece of advice reads: "Men never really ask for anything. They command. And believe me, what you won't do, 10 broads around the corner will."
Advising women to stay slim to attract men, Moore also writes: "When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find?
"Oh you don't? Why not? It's the same with men when they see ... baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women."
Moore, a 33-year-old computer engineer, says he wants to help women and wrote the book to show where they go wrong in relationships.
Moore himself has never married, has a girlfriend of two years, an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship and says he has never found true love.
A SELF-help guide that tells women to stay thin and follow their man's orders if they want to keep him has become a bestseller.
The book, The Re-education Of The Female, also says women should wear sexy clothes while doing the cooking and cleaning.
Copies of first-time author Dante Moore's book have been flying off the shelves in the US, Britain's Daily Mail reports.
One piece of advice reads: "Men never really ask for anything. They command. And believe me, what you won't do, 10 broads around the corner will."
Advising women to stay slim to attract men, Moore also writes: "When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find?
"Oh you don't? Why not? It's the same with men when they see ... baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women."
Moore, a 33-year-old computer engineer, says he wants to help women and wrote the book to show where they go wrong in relationships.
Moore himself has never married, has a girlfriend of two years, an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship and says he has never found true love.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Quote of the Day
"Don't think duct tape is going 2 fix this"
My unnamed friend, upon hearing horrible clank-clang-rumble-grind sounds from his CB750, just prior to it's complete cessation of operation.
My unnamed friend, upon hearing horrible clank-clang-rumble-grind sounds from his CB750, just prior to it's complete cessation of operation.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Hilton auditions for Nazi Orgymaster
You know what I hate? Those big fucking sunglasses that are all the rage. I mean, sure, they've been "popular" for a year or more now, but they suck. They suck now, they sucked last year, and they sucked in the fucking 70s. Just because they're retro doesn't make them cool. You know what else is retro? Outhouses and yellow fever. Want to bring those back into fashion, too? I can see it now. "Next on MTV Cribs... Check out P. Diddy's outhouse. 'Yeah, I had this marble imported from Europe, you know, to make the ass platform. That's not brass on the door handle, that's 10k, man.' We'll get to see this and more after these messages. Yellow fever got you worried? There's no cure, but there is a vaccination. Get one now! Brought to you by RAYF, Rockers Against Yellow Fever."
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
We have hijacked your baby
Oh, man. The more I run that little 125 in the back yard, the better it runs. I'm going to try and pull the spare rim tonight & put the new tire on it. I found the tail light assembly (only missing one turn signal cover). It's getting closer...
Friday, August 22, 2008
I don't know about this
Polygamy is the key to a long life.
Of course, one comment I spotted on the net I thought was particularly apt:
"I told my wife about this, and she said that if I tried to bring a second wife into the house, it would drastically reduce my lifespan... she'd kill me!"
:)
Of course, one comment I spotted on the net I thought was particularly apt:
"I told my wife about this, and she said that if I tried to bring a second wife into the house, it would drastically reduce my lifespan... she'd kill me!"
:)
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Ah, the hazards of marriage.
Specifically, getting dressed in the dark.
I was in a hurry to get dressed this morning. Since my darling love was able to sleep in, I was attempting to get dressed in the dark, using a little LED flashlight to find my clothes in the closet. Pants - check. Shirt - check. I'll wear this blue one, it looks like she ironed it for me, too! (she often irons my clothes. I've not asked her to, but it's nice & I appreciate it when she does).
One big problem. Or little problem. When I pulled the shirt on, I noticed the shoulders felt a bit tight. The sleeves came up almost to my elbows, and the chest was *awfully* loose.
Yep, I tried to wear one of her shirts to work today. Luckily, even my ineptitude noticed before I got out the door, and I was able to change into one of my own.
I was in a hurry to get dressed this morning. Since my darling love was able to sleep in, I was attempting to get dressed in the dark, using a little LED flashlight to find my clothes in the closet. Pants - check. Shirt - check. I'll wear this blue one, it looks like she ironed it for me, too! (she often irons my clothes. I've not asked her to, but it's nice & I appreciate it when she does).
One big problem. Or little problem. When I pulled the shirt on, I noticed the shoulders felt a bit tight. The sleeves came up almost to my elbows, and the chest was *awfully* loose.
Yep, I tried to wear one of her shirts to work today. Luckily, even my ineptitude noticed before I got out the door, and I was able to change into one of my own.
Monday, August 18, 2008
It's *almost* alive!
I've been kicking this around for a while. It was my first bike, back when I was 14. A 1982 CB125s. As I've been pretty broke, I figured I'd see what all I could do with it, for almost free. It's a little bike, but it makes a good starter bike.
Well, I poured some Marvel Mystery Oil into the cylinder & kicked it over a few times. Got decent compression & *spark*! Turned out the plug wasn't cross threaded, just dirty threads. Cleaned them up, put the plug in. Ok, what next. Old-ass 6v battery needed water, so I filled it up with *distilled* water (NOT tap water...) Knew it was dead, but plugged it in anyway. Squirt some starting fluid into the carb and kick, kick, kick, VROOM!
Well, it will run as long as you keep squirting it with go-juice. I hooked up a fiberglass tracker tank, and fuel is getting into the float bowl. I *have* cleaned & rebuilt this carb... a year or more ago. Plus, it was my first ever carb clean & rebuild. Since I've done the 4 'wing carbs a few times, I'm sure I screwed the cleaning of this simple little carb. Gonna pull it tonight & clean it more. Hopefully I'll be riding up & down the street before the night is over...
One last pic of me & my gf at the time. I sure looked funny at 15 :)
Friday, August 15, 2008
I kissed a girl
Here's a new game from the guys at rathergood.com. It's Astrogirl, featuring Lindsay Lohan. Rock on!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
She had to do it, the 11yo was kicking her ass!
Deputy Shocks Girl With Taser At Elementary School.
They both ended up at the hospital. The little girl to get the taser prongs removed, and the deputy for bruised sinus cavities, or something like that.
I have to say, if I were a cop, the day I needed a taser to take down an 11yo girl is the day I'd turn in my badge...
They both ended up at the hospital. The little girl to get the taser prongs removed, and the deputy for bruised sinus cavities, or something like that.
I have to say, if I were a cop, the day I needed a taser to take down an 11yo girl is the day I'd turn in my badge...
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I hope Otto keeps the coyotes from eating my body
Dog guarded owner's body for 6 weeks after his suicide in remote area.
Aw, hell. Who do I think I'm kidding. Otto would be too busy eating my face to worry about any damn coyotes...
Aw, hell. Who do I think I'm kidding. Otto would be too busy eating my face to worry about any damn coyotes...
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Pretty worthless
So far everything is going great with the new marriage. A few issues dealing with things I've done in the past, but nothing insurmountable. *I* know I won't be doing anything like that in the future, but it still takes time to heal.
She's been doing the whirlwind cleaning on the house. Living there as a (basically) single dad for the past year things really built up. Not the unhealthy things like food in the corners or plates under the bed. Things like "I moved the bed today to vacuum, and the pile of dust & dog hair opened it's eyes and asked me to leave it alone" type of thing. You know, I never would have thought to actually *move* furniture to clean around it. I was doing good to sweep the visible floors.
Mostly I feel worthless. Everybody has a different style, and a different preference for maintaining their living space. I'm a "don't leave it out if it will rot, and pile up everything that you may, at some point, someday, need" kind of person. She's most definitely not. Add to that things that I have very few preferences over, such as wall colors, wallpaper, furniture placement, etc. and there's not much I feel confident in contributing. I see all the hard work she's put in, and I want to do something to help, but I just don't know where to start. (Obviously, if I did, it would have been done *before* she moved in). Oh, I can handle things like taking out the trash, or move this here. I replaced the sink faucet, but she unclogged using some home remedy stuff that was top secret (I asked what it was, but she said she had to use TWO pairs of gloves and wouldn't elaborate). I managed to change the locks, and when I realized a standard lock wouldn't work in the security door, I was able to re-pin it. I *almost* got the kitchen window blind replaced, but after I got the mounts in I realized they need to go on the outside of the frame, not the inside. DOH! I can fix that tonight, though. But for simple, everyone should know stuff, I screw it up. I was supposed to put the towels in the dryer last night, and almost as soon as she asked me to, I forgot. DOH!
Oh well. I'll keep trying. Eventually I'll get it right :)
She's been doing the whirlwind cleaning on the house. Living there as a (basically) single dad for the past year things really built up. Not the unhealthy things like food in the corners or plates under the bed. Things like "I moved the bed today to vacuum, and the pile of dust & dog hair opened it's eyes and asked me to leave it alone" type of thing. You know, I never would have thought to actually *move* furniture to clean around it. I was doing good to sweep the visible floors.
Mostly I feel worthless. Everybody has a different style, and a different preference for maintaining their living space. I'm a "don't leave it out if it will rot, and pile up everything that you may, at some point, someday, need" kind of person. She's most definitely not. Add to that things that I have very few preferences over, such as wall colors, wallpaper, furniture placement, etc. and there's not much I feel confident in contributing. I see all the hard work she's put in, and I want to do something to help, but I just don't know where to start. (Obviously, if I did, it would have been done *before* she moved in). Oh, I can handle things like taking out the trash, or move this here. I replaced the sink faucet, but she unclogged using some home remedy stuff that was top secret (I asked what it was, but she said she had to use TWO pairs of gloves and wouldn't elaborate). I managed to change the locks, and when I realized a standard lock wouldn't work in the security door, I was able to re-pin it. I *almost* got the kitchen window blind replaced, but after I got the mounts in I realized they need to go on the outside of the frame, not the inside. DOH! I can fix that tonight, though. But for simple, everyone should know stuff, I screw it up. I was supposed to put the towels in the dryer last night, and almost as soon as she asked me to, I forgot. DOH!
Oh well. I'll keep trying. Eventually I'll get it right :)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
My truck is weird
The a/c just can't make up it's mind whether it wants to work or not. It alternates between not having any cold air blowing, and blowing so cold a stream of white frostiness comes poring out. I bet if I sprinkled water, it would snow...
Friday, July 25, 2008
Nazi Toddlers Ruined My Birthday
You gotta love some of the subjects they use for spam. I see a LOT since I'm the one who goes through the quarantine at work.
I just wanted to post this video real quick :)
I just wanted to post this video real quick :)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Why not use nuclear power in space?
I'm still fleshing some of this out in my head, but I was reading an article on the ISS, and one thing that was mentioned was power issues. If you move it too much, the solar panels can no longer collect enough solar energy.
Why not use a miniature nuclear reactor? Shield it well, and tether it to the station. Could it really generate more damaging radiation than, say, the sun?
Why not use a miniature nuclear reactor? Shield it well, and tether it to the station. Could it really generate more damaging radiation than, say, the sun?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Oh, I bet I'm in trouble for this one...
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51.. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
Birthdays
Anniversaries
Aarrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51.. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
Birthdays
Anniversaries
Aarrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
Holy Arrest Record, Batman!
The Dynamic Duo was arrested in Ibiza. Interestingly enough, The Joker was present, but innocent of any wrong-doing. What is the world coming to???
No, I'm not going to forget
Geez. Ok, I am forgetful. I'm kinda flaky. Still, I don't think it was really necessary for Kate to write the date of the wedding on the bathroom mirror. I won't forget. Honest. I *know* it's the 19th, and I'll be there promptly at 6pm!!!
I will not, however, be wearing a hawaiian shirt...
I will not, however, be wearing a hawaiian shirt...
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I guess I better
If I were a better blogger I'd type it up myself, instead I'll just point you to Kate's post about the upcoming event.
What I want to know is who's taking me to the strip club???
What I want to know is who's taking me to the strip club???
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Ruff!
Which Breed Of Dog Is Most Aggressive?
Quick answer: Dachshund
What I found interesting was towards the bottom. ...some of the lowest scoring breeds for aggression included the Basset hound, golden retriever, Labradors...
I'd always heard that Labs bite more people each year than Pitbulls. Maybe it's a case of there being more Labs, but a lower percentage are aggressive. I can't find anything concrete to back this up. However, I did find American Temperament Test Society, Inc. According to their testing data:
Breed Name Tested Passed Failed Percent
LABRADOR RETRIEVER 705 647 58 91.8%
AMERICAN PIT BULL TERRIER 586 494 92 84.3%
BASSET HOUND 33 28 5 84.8%
CHIHUAHUA 37 26 11 70.3%
GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG 2875 2,401 474 83.5%
GOLDEN RETRIEVER 703 592 111 84.2%
SCOTTISH TERRIER 33 21 12 63.6%
Well, You can go to the site & look up whatever breed you want...
Quick answer: Dachshund
What I found interesting was towards the bottom. ...some of the lowest scoring breeds for aggression included the Basset hound, golden retriever, Labradors...
I'd always heard that Labs bite more people each year than Pitbulls. Maybe it's a case of there being more Labs, but a lower percentage are aggressive. I can't find anything concrete to back this up. However, I did find American Temperament Test Society, Inc. According to their testing data:
Breed Name Tested Passed Failed Percent
LABRADOR RETRIEVER 705 647 58 91.8%
AMERICAN PIT BULL TERRIER 586 494 92 84.3%
BASSET HOUND 33 28 5 84.8%
CHIHUAHUA 37 26 11 70.3%
GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG 2875 2,401 474 83.5%
GOLDEN RETRIEVER 703 592 111 84.2%
SCOTTISH TERRIER 33 21 12 63.6%
Well, You can go to the site & look up whatever breed you want...
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Super Glue
It's got all kind of uses. Including surgery. I haven't needed it for that lately, but I just think it's interesting.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
SO9
I'm back. I'll post more later, but for now here's the pics:
Smoke Out 9 Pics
Here's a teaser of me & Rich:
Smoke Out 9 Pics
Here's a teaser of me & Rich:
Monday, June 16, 2008
Quote of the Day
In fact, Flash-based web sites are quite possibly one of the most useful pieces of network technology around. Like heroin or microlights, they ensure that those who think it's a good idea aren't around to annoy us for too long.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Here's a cool Herbie for ya.
No, not Herbie Hancock, a newer, better version of Herbie the Love Bug.
It's a jet-powered Beetle (new)!!!
Be sure to scroll down & check out his new project... The JetScooter!
It's a jet-powered Beetle (new)!!!
Be sure to scroll down & check out his new project... The JetScooter!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
He wasn't going to give it up willingly!
Toad unharmed by tenure in dog's stomach
You mean the dog was eating too fast to notice a frog had wandered in among his snacks? Say it isn't so!
You mean the dog was eating too fast to notice a frog had wandered in among his snacks? Say it isn't so!
Starting to stress a bit
Less than a week to go, and the bike still isn't ready. I got started putting the carbs back together last night, only to discover missing screws. :(
For the most part, though, it's clean(ish) and ready to go. Once I pick up new screws tonight, I should be able to put it mostly back together, then finish when the mixture screws come in. $15 each for 4 of them, damn....
For the most part, though, it's clean(ish) and ready to go. Once I pick up new screws tonight, I should be able to put it mostly back together, then finish when the mixture screws come in. $15 each for 4 of them, damn....
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
It can *not* print itself!!!
Specifically, what about all the metal tubes & the wires?
RepRap - Open Source Machine 'Prints' 3-D Objects, Including Copies Of Itself
RepRap is short for replicating rapid-prototyper. RepRap employs a technique called ‘additive fabrication’. The machine works a bit like a printer, but rather than squirting ink onto paper, it puts down thin layers of molten plastic which solidify. These layers are built up to make useful three-dimensional (3D) objects.
RepRap - Open Source Machine 'Prints' 3-D Objects, Including Copies Of Itself
RepRap is short for replicating rapid-prototyper. RepRap employs a technique called ‘additive fabrication’. The machine works a bit like a printer, but rather than squirting ink onto paper, it puts down thin layers of molten plastic which solidify. These layers are built up to make useful three-dimensional (3D) objects.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Good advice
We were walking through Target last night, and Ramona, out of the blue, says to me:
"Always wear quiet shoes when you're going to kill somebody."
Apparently she was watching the Godfather at her mom's house...
"Always wear quiet shoes when you're going to kill somebody."
Apparently she was watching the Godfather at her mom's house...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The ultimate point & click interface
The Disconnect Between Range Marksmanship & Combat Hitsmanship
It has been assumed that if a man can hit a target at 50 yards he can
certainly do the same at three feet. That assumption is not borne out by the
reports.
AIMED Point Shooting or P&S For Self Defense has a lot of information on ways to get around this problem. Scroll down about halfway & you should see some pretty (har har) pictures. Browse around, there's plenty to read there.
It has been assumed that if a man can hit a target at 50 yards he can
certainly do the same at three feet. That assumption is not borne out by the
reports.
AIMED Point Shooting or P&S For Self Defense has a lot of information on ways to get around this problem. Scroll down about halfway & you should see some pretty (har har) pictures. Browse around, there's plenty to read there.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Score!
I was talking to Rich last night, both of us were "woe is me" ing about our bike builds. Wrong Way beeps in, but I ignore it, I'll call him later. He immediately called again. Well, everybody knows if someone calls twice in a row you better answer. So I clicked over & hear "hey man, do you want to go get some shingles for the garage?"
Turns out Matthew was at a friend's house, and their landlord had shingles put on the roof, and they put the excess on the street with the rest of the trash. So we drove over & loaded up the car. We got at least enough to do one half of the garage, and probably enough for the whole thing.
A free new garage roof! I'm especially thrilled because it's been leaking, and it really needs to be done. I'm not so thrilled about the weekend worth of work it's going to take to do it :(
Turns out Matthew was at a friend's house, and their landlord had shingles put on the roof, and they put the excess on the street with the rest of the trash. So we drove over & loaded up the car. We got at least enough to do one half of the garage, and probably enough for the whole thing.
A free new garage roof! I'm especially thrilled because it's been leaking, and it really needs to be done. I'm not so thrilled about the weekend worth of work it's going to take to do it :(
Friday, May 16, 2008
Typical sensationalist pseudojournalism
Arrest leads to acres of goods aka Old Man Trying To Get By On Fixed Income Unfairly Represented In The Media.
Joe Henderson, of Senatobia, Tate County, MS is my uncle. Most of this story is a non-story. First of all, the "acres of goods"? He has a junkyard! It's officially closed, but once you get into junk, it's hard to stop.
When you buy & sell junk, you typically deal in cash, which is where that comes in. The stolen goods? I know Joe, and he wouldn't knowingly deal in stolen goods. That doesn't mean everything that went through the yard was clean, he just wouldn't deal with hot merch if he knew.
Now the weed... well, I don't know about that. I can't see an old man in failing health being a big time drug trafficker, but I suppose it's possible. I figure someone probably stashed it on the property, and he got busted for it. Hell, he might have pissed the cops off enough for them to set him up.
Mostly, though, he's just a Good Ol' Boy. Think Uncle Jesse from the Dukes of Hazzard, only a bit more of an asshole. He's the kind of guy that wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, but if your car broke down & you were going to lose your job & you had kids... He'd be most likely to throw you some keys & say "eh, take that green Chevy, pay me when you can."
I sure hope it turns out ok. He's too fucking old for prison.
Joe Henderson, of Senatobia, Tate County, MS is my uncle. Most of this story is a non-story. First of all, the "acres of goods"? He has a junkyard! It's officially closed, but once you get into junk, it's hard to stop.
When you buy & sell junk, you typically deal in cash, which is where that comes in. The stolen goods? I know Joe, and he wouldn't knowingly deal in stolen goods. That doesn't mean everything that went through the yard was clean, he just wouldn't deal with hot merch if he knew.
Now the weed... well, I don't know about that. I can't see an old man in failing health being a big time drug trafficker, but I suppose it's possible. I figure someone probably stashed it on the property, and he got busted for it. Hell, he might have pissed the cops off enough for them to set him up.
Mostly, though, he's just a Good Ol' Boy. Think Uncle Jesse from the Dukes of Hazzard, only a bit more of an asshole. He's the kind of guy that wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, but if your car broke down & you were going to lose your job & you had kids... He'd be most likely to throw you some keys & say "eh, take that green Chevy, pay me when you can."
I sure hope it turns out ok. He's too fucking old for prison.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
An old one from gramma
I was looking through old emails looking for something & found this email from gramma:
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
(additional note from jred: This goes for drinking out of the toilet, too)
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
(additional note from jred: This goes for drinking out of the toilet, too)
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
I'm super cereal
You know what really bugs me? People who don't know how to open cereal. It's not that hard. Don't tear up the flaps opening the box. When you do, the box doesn't close properly. Don't just rip open the bag, which usually results in a split running down the center. Just pull the top apart. This leaves the bag in a condition where you can pour it without it going everywhere. It also keeps cereal from falling between the bag & box. As an added bonus, you can easily reseal the bag to keep it fresh. Speaking of which, how hard is it to roll up the bag when you're done???
On a completely unrelated note, caramel mocha Java Chillers from Sonic rock!
On a completely unrelated note, caramel mocha Java Chillers from Sonic rock!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
This looks like something Paul & I would've done
Mistake & all :) Once we made up some homemade napalm. Shaved some ivory into gasoline in a double-boiler. Let it cool, and splashed it across the street. Lit it, then hid in the bushes to watch the cars line up on either side. Those were the days...
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wrong-way!
Went riding with Jerry last night, since it was bike night & all. Rode down to Beale St. to hang out with some of his buddies. It was alright. Not too many cool bikes. A couple of sporties & a couple of old jap bikes. It was ok, though, and the impending rain kept the crowd down. My soda was watery, though. I guess they mostly use them for mixers...
After Beale St. we wanted to ride some more, so we hopped on the interstate :O and went out to Joe's Crabshack. It was closing, but we got to pee :) Mainly I wanted to try the new bike out on the istate. It went swimmingly well. The wind was a little bad, but not too bad. Oh, and apparently cleaning the connectors on my battery cables helped. When we left Joe's, I was able to start the wing warm, with no starting fluid or jump box. Yay! for that!
Ah, yes. Wrong-way. Well, on the way to Beale, we passed a cop & I was thinking it was a good thing we both had decent looking helmets. We pulled up to a red light as I was still pondering this, and my gaze turned to Jerry... And the DOT sticker on his forehead! The DOT sticker is on the *back* of the helmet, which means his helmet was on backwards! I nearly forgot to tell his guys about it, we were leaving and I hopped back off the bike to go tell them. As we left, Bones yelled out "See ya later, Wrong-way!" I can't wait for Jerry to show up with a new name patch. He deserves a nickname like Wrong-way for wearing his helmet backwards :)
After Beale St. we wanted to ride some more, so we hopped on the interstate :O and went out to Joe's Crabshack. It was closing, but we got to pee :) Mainly I wanted to try the new bike out on the istate. It went swimmingly well. The wind was a little bad, but not too bad. Oh, and apparently cleaning the connectors on my battery cables helped. When we left Joe's, I was able to start the wing warm, with no starting fluid or jump box. Yay! for that!
Ah, yes. Wrong-way. Well, on the way to Beale, we passed a cop & I was thinking it was a good thing we both had decent looking helmets. We pulled up to a red light as I was still pondering this, and my gaze turned to Jerry... And the DOT sticker on his forehead! The DOT sticker is on the *back* of the helmet, which means his helmet was on backwards! I nearly forgot to tell his guys about it, we were leaving and I hopped back off the bike to go tell them. As we left, Bones yelled out "See ya later, Wrong-way!" I can't wait for Jerry to show up with a new name patch. He deserves a nickname like Wrong-way for wearing his helmet backwards :)
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Oh! Mighty hunter!
Alright, this has gone just about far enough. Last night I was headed back to the desk and noticed an eviscerated dog toy. Except it wasn't. It was a bird. Not eviscerated, thankfully, but very dead. I figured one of the pups had found a dead bird outside and brought it in to play with. I disposed of it properly, and didn't think much about it.
Until this morning. I let the dogs out & propped the door open so they could get all their morning duties (or doodies harhar) out of the way. Guess what I found. Another bird! It absolutely wasn't the same one. So I disposed of this one, too.
I'm pretty sure it's not Otto. I think if he was a mighty bird hunter, he couldn't have hidden it for three years. It must be Flomar. Who'd have thunk it?
Until this morning. I let the dogs out & propped the door open so they could get all their morning duties (or doodies harhar) out of the way. Guess what I found. Another bird! It absolutely wasn't the same one. So I disposed of this one, too.
I'm pretty sure it's not Otto. I think if he was a mighty bird hunter, he couldn't have hidden it for three years. It must be Flomar. Who'd have thunk it?
Monday, May 05, 2008
Friday, May 02, 2008
Wow! Free wifi!
"Apparently, Apple and AT&T has decided to provide free wireless access to iPhone users at places like Starbucks."
The thing is, with a little "modification" aka HAX, you can make it work on your laptop, too.
More info
The thing is, with a little "modification" aka HAX, you can make it work on your laptop, too.
More info
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Honest, baby! It's not me!!!
There was this woman, see. She loved to watch porn. One day, she loads up a porno, and what does she *think* she sees? Her boyfriend! On the screen! With... some OTHER bitch!!!
Fuck THAT! I'll go Lorena Bobbit on his ass!
Fuck THAT! I'll go Lorena Bobbit on his ass!
Want to save gas?
Eat less beans! Har har!
Actually, I was going to suggest "hypermiling".
I first heard about it in this Reuters article..
Actually, I was going to suggest "hypermiling".
I first heard about it in this Reuters article..
Monday, April 28, 2008
My step-dad is to blame for this JOTD
How the fight started:
Officer, this is how the fight started...
I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It was my fault.
So, we both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the driver of the car I hit gets out of his car. ... . and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed... and life... sometimes life seems like... suddenly funny?
Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF! He gets out of his car and I get out of my car.
He is frowning and scowling and he storms over to me. Right up close at me he looks up in my face and says, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I look down at him and I said, 'Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are you?'
.. . . and that's when the fight started...
Officer, this is how the fight started...
I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It was my fault.
So, we both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the driver of the car I hit gets out of his car. ... . and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed... and life... sometimes life seems like... suddenly funny?
Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF! He gets out of his car and I get out of my car.
He is frowning and scowling and he storms over to me. Right up close at me he looks up in my face and says, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I look down at him and I said, 'Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are you?'
.. . . and that's when the fight started...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Dogs rescue abandoned baby
Dogs "rescue" girl abandoned by mother
"The dogs removed the soil around and began to bark and the baby started crying which drew attention of the local villagers," Ram Narayan Sahani, a senior government official, said on Tuesday from Bihar's Samastipur district.
See! Dogs rule!
"The dogs removed the soil around and began to bark and the baby started crying which drew attention of the local villagers," Ram Narayan Sahani, a senior government official, said on Tuesday from Bihar's Samastipur district.
See! Dogs rule!
Snooping on the kid's myspace
And I found this "survey". Most of it was just boring, but I really liked this one:
Can you play guitar hero?
yes but i dont its to easy i play hardcore electric guitar
Can you play guitar hero?
yes but i dont its to easy i play hardcore electric guitar
Monday, April 21, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
They should check out Six Flags over Jesus
AKA Bellevue Baptist. Talk about lucrative...
Psychics see big trouble over new laws
"The psychic industry is huge and lucrative and it exploits some very vulnerable, and some very gullible, people with claims for which there is no scientific evidence."
Psychics see big trouble over new laws
"The psychic industry is huge and lucrative and it exploits some very vulnerable, and some very gullible, people with claims for which there is no scientific evidence."
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
LOL!
I'm in the process of acquiring my TN Handgun Carry Permit, and in registering for my fingerprinting and background check, I have to choose my hair color.
Blue, green, orange, pink, purple and even "unknown" are choices...
In being honest, I had to chose grey...
Blue, green, orange, pink, purple and even "unknown" are choices...
In being honest, I had to chose grey...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Goldwing update
QOTD: Chrome don't get you home, but you sure look good broken down. -Rich in Nashville.
So when I pulled my front wheel to get a new tire, I removed these god-awful chrome disc covers, like this: Chrome disc covers
They were a bit rusty & bent up, so I figured no one would want them on ebay, so I chunked them.
Fast forward to me putting the wheel back on. The calipers are rubbing the discs, and won't align properly. After going back and forth with a couple of guys on a wing forum, I decide to make a spacer , ~1/8", to take the place of the covers. What do you know? Worked like a charm. I even got to finally use my bench grinder I bought a year ago that's been in my car trunk all this time, to trim the spacer down a bit :)
Moving on to the back brakes, I needed to rebuild the rear master cylinder. Took me almost a damn hour to get the rear master cylinder off. It's missing some parts (I *think* just a spring, should be in the rebuild kit), but it's awfully rusty where the rubber boot had a hole. I've got it soaking in alcohol, and hopefully it'll clean up good.
I also *finally* got the fucking front brake light switch off! The head is kinda screwed up, I was going to replace it, but it's got some weird rod thing on the end of it?!?! I'm hoping I can clean the head up a bit & reuse it.
Tomorrow I'll scrub the MC, and put the rebuild kit in, put the brake light switch in, bleed both brakes, bolt on a mirror, and I'll be almost ready. Get a headlight on the next night & I'll be riding, working out the bugs :)
So when I pulled my front wheel to get a new tire, I removed these god-awful chrome disc covers, like this: Chrome disc covers
They were a bit rusty & bent up, so I figured no one would want them on ebay, so I chunked them.
Fast forward to me putting the wheel back on. The calipers are rubbing the discs, and won't align properly. After going back and forth with a couple of guys on a wing forum, I decide to make a spacer , ~1/8", to take the place of the covers. What do you know? Worked like a charm. I even got to finally use my bench grinder I bought a year ago that's been in my car trunk all this time, to trim the spacer down a bit :)
Moving on to the back brakes, I needed to rebuild the rear master cylinder. Took me almost a damn hour to get the rear master cylinder off. It's missing some parts (I *think* just a spring, should be in the rebuild kit), but it's awfully rusty where the rubber boot had a hole. I've got it soaking in alcohol, and hopefully it'll clean up good.
I also *finally* got the fucking front brake light switch off! The head is kinda screwed up, I was going to replace it, but it's got some weird rod thing on the end of it?!?! I'm hoping I can clean the head up a bit & reuse it.
Tomorrow I'll scrub the MC, and put the rebuild kit in, put the brake light switch in, bleed both brakes, bolt on a mirror, and I'll be almost ready. Get a headlight on the next night & I'll be riding, working out the bugs :)
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Disgusters
The band is back. There will be vomit. There will be blood. There will be sex. There will be drugs. There will be an aural assault that the world has never experienced before. Look out. This is the year of, The Disgusters!
Not even 3 times a week
Rich seems to think I update every day. Not even close, bud!
I just went outside to smoke. WTF? Snow???
Had a great weekend. Went to the Al Chymia Shrine Circus on Friday night, with VIP tickets my friend Jerry gave me. We got to sit on the floor, front row, right next to center ring. The girls rode the elephant, got their faces painted, and took pictures with a huge boa constrictor. The most exciting part for them was when the clowns asked them to be part of the act! I tell you, those poor clowns sure looked silly when these two little girls saved them from being crushed by the "heavy" weights :) The animal acts were good, the trapeze acts were good, it was all good. We all had a ton of fun.
Saturday we took Ramona to the shooting range. I rented a couple of .22s for her to try out. Mainly I wanted her to not be scared, and to know how to be safe around firearms. As long as they are going to be in the house, she should be educated in firearm safety. She did very well, especially considering she's never shot before. She got 3 bulls-eyes :) I had forgotten that Saturday is ".223 and shotgun night". So there were a lot of "M-16s" of various flavours there. Every time one would be fired, Ramona would flinch. They're awfully loud :) After that, we went to CiCi's for dinner.
Sunday was a lazy day, but that's ok. Ramona needed to wind down & get ready for her TCAPs this week, anyway. Fun stuff!
I just went outside to smoke. WTF? Snow???
Had a great weekend. Went to the Al Chymia Shrine Circus on Friday night, with VIP tickets my friend Jerry gave me. We got to sit on the floor, front row, right next to center ring. The girls rode the elephant, got their faces painted, and took pictures with a huge boa constrictor. The most exciting part for them was when the clowns asked them to be part of the act! I tell you, those poor clowns sure looked silly when these two little girls saved them from being crushed by the "heavy" weights :) The animal acts were good, the trapeze acts were good, it was all good. We all had a ton of fun.
Saturday we took Ramona to the shooting range. I rented a couple of .22s for her to try out. Mainly I wanted her to not be scared, and to know how to be safe around firearms. As long as they are going to be in the house, she should be educated in firearm safety. She did very well, especially considering she's never shot before. She got 3 bulls-eyes :) I had forgotten that Saturday is ".223 and shotgun night". So there were a lot of "M-16s" of various flavours there. Every time one would be fired, Ramona would flinch. They're awfully loud :) After that, we went to CiCi's for dinner.
Sunday was a lazy day, but that's ok. Ramona needed to wind down & get ready for her TCAPs this week, anyway. Fun stuff!
Monday, April 07, 2008
Cool project
Kettering University student Will Foster builds fully operational half-size Panzer tank
"I took it home, driving it around in this white picket fence neighborhood and one of the neighbors called the cops on us," said Foster, a Kettering University student who began building the tank from scratch nearly two years ago.
"I took it home, driving it around in this white picket fence neighborhood and one of the neighbors called the cops on us," said Foster, a Kettering University student who began building the tank from scratch nearly two years ago.
Friday, April 04, 2008
An old story
I posted this someplace else, and I hate to waste a perfectly good write-up of a good story...
--------
At my GF's work party. Picture me all dressed up, at a restaurant where one meal costs as much as my food budget for 2 weeks. Bossman was showing pictures of the Sporty he bought his wife for Christmas, so she could ride with him while he's on his Softail. Then he started going on about getting a sports bike, for when he wants to go fast.
"I think I'll get a VRod."
I barely notice my girlfriend tensing her whole body, praying that I won't embarrass her. She knows me better than I do. I really don't know why my mouth opened and words spewed forth.
"Why the hell would you want one of those?!?!?"
You could suddenly hear the dishwasher's cigarette hiss as he tossed it in the puddle outside. All conversation stopped.
"Why do you say that?" he asked, in a tone of voice that I'm sure has terrified many an opposing counsel.
"I mean, I understand that you want a performance motorcycle, but you should really look at some of the other options. A Hayabusa or GSX, maybe. If you just can't stand to buy a Jap bike, look at the Ducati's. Harley does what they do alright, but sportsbikes really aren't their thing."
About that time the waitress with our salads and all attention was drawn to my 1/4 head of lettuce with ranch on the side. (Hey, how was I supposed to know that they have a "Wedge". When she asked what kind of salad I wanted, I just said I wanted the regular old lettuce kind with ranch. No greek or whatever. I didn't really know there where so many different kinds of salad. The steak was good, though..)
On Monday my girlfriend called to tell me that bossman had stopped her in the hall to say, "You know, your boyfriend was right..." Apparently that rarely happens.
On an unrelated note, later that year his wife lost control of her Sporty, and ended up in a ditch. Most women of her social class would not only never have ridden again, but insisted their husband stop riding. She, on the other hand, insisted on picking the repaired bike up from the shop and riding it home herself...
--------
At my GF's work party. Picture me all dressed up, at a restaurant where one meal costs as much as my food budget for 2 weeks. Bossman was showing pictures of the Sporty he bought his wife for Christmas, so she could ride with him while he's on his Softail. Then he started going on about getting a sports bike, for when he wants to go fast.
"I think I'll get a VRod."
I barely notice my girlfriend tensing her whole body, praying that I won't embarrass her. She knows me better than I do. I really don't know why my mouth opened and words spewed forth.
"Why the hell would you want one of those?!?!?"
You could suddenly hear the dishwasher's cigarette hiss as he tossed it in the puddle outside. All conversation stopped.
"Why do you say that?" he asked, in a tone of voice that I'm sure has terrified many an opposing counsel.
"I mean, I understand that you want a performance motorcycle, but you should really look at some of the other options. A Hayabusa or GSX, maybe. If you just can't stand to buy a Jap bike, look at the Ducati's. Harley does what they do alright, but sportsbikes really aren't their thing."
About that time the waitress with our salads and all attention was drawn to my 1/4 head of lettuce with ranch on the side. (Hey, how was I supposed to know that they have a "Wedge". When she asked what kind of salad I wanted, I just said I wanted the regular old lettuce kind with ranch. No greek or whatever. I didn't really know there where so many different kinds of salad. The steak was good, though..)
On Monday my girlfriend called to tell me that bossman had stopped her in the hall to say, "You know, your boyfriend was right..." Apparently that rarely happens.
On an unrelated note, later that year his wife lost control of her Sporty, and ended up in a ditch. Most women of her social class would not only never have ridden again, but insisted their husband stop riding. She, on the other hand, insisted on picking the repaired bike up from the shop and riding it home herself...
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
How about a disposable car?
Had a talk with someone yesterday & the concept of a disposable car came up. Here's a discussion weighing the merits and, um, demerits(?).
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